Portland police have issued an all points bulletin and are asking citizens to be on the lookout for a man known as the Portland Pooper. The Portland Pooper has been seen defecating near business in South East Portland several times in the past month.  
Portland Police have reason to believe the Portland Pooper may be relieving himself in public due to his poor eating habits. For that reason Portland PD are cautioning citizens who may be in the vicinity of any Olive Garden, Red Lobster, or Arby’s to watch their step.
Anyone encountering the Portland Pooper is encouraged to immediately give him a high-five and a pat on the back. The Portland Pooper – Criminal or Hero? We say Hero!